Even though it’s still summer, the new school year will be here before we know it. As a parent, watching your child start a new school year is always a big moment. But if you're the parent of a child with special needs, that moment can feel both joyful and incredibly stressful. From wondering if the school is genuinely prepared to support your child, to navigating unfamiliar routines, a lot is riding on that first day. 

The good news? With enough time to prepare and the right legal and practical planning, you can ease your child’s transition and help them start the school year strong. 

In this article, we’ll walk you through how to prepare emotionally, advocate effectively, and ensure your legal documents and plans support your child’s needs throughout the year and beyond.

Get Familiar with the School Before Day One

One of the most powerful ways to reduce your child's anxiety—and yours—is by demystifying the school environment in advance. Children with special needs often thrive in environments where they know what to expect. By visiting the school ahead of time, you give your child the chance to become familiar with their surroundings, meet their teachers and aides, and walk through their daily schedule.

Start by requesting a tour of the school when it's quieter—perhaps a few days before the full student body returns. Walk through your child’s daily routine: entering the building, finding their classroom, visiting the restroom, and seeing where they’ll eat lunch. If they’ll be riding the bus, practice the route to and from school. If drop-off is your routine, walk them through what to expect at the door.

If an in-person tour isn’t possible, ask for photos or even a short video from the school. Many schools already have these resources available and are happy to provide them. You can also create a simple “first day” picture book or social story that walks your child through what their day will look like. The more familiar the environment becomes, the less intimidating it will feel on day one.

And don’t forget to practice routines at home. Get your child used to waking up earlier, getting dressed, eating breakfast, and packing their backpack. You might use a visual schedule or checklist to reinforce these steps. By making the first day of school feel like a natural extension of the home routine, you’ll build your child’s confidence and help them feel more in control.

Transition Tip: Create a morning and evening checklist together with your child. Laminate it and use Velcro tabs or dry-erase markers to make it interactive and fun. This gives your child a sense of ownership and predictability.

Build Confidence and Connection Before School Begins

Starting school isn't just about academics—it’s a major emotional transition. Many children with special needs experience social anxiety, sensory sensitivities, or difficulty with change. Helping your child build self-esteem and social skills before the school year begins can make a huge difference.

If your child struggles with social interaction, consider setting up low-pressure playdates with future classmates or other children with similar needs. Local support groups, community centers, or therapy offices may also host inclusive events where your child can practice these skills in a safe environment.

Encourage your child to talk about their feelings. Ask questions like, “What are you excited about?” or “Is there anything that feels a little scary?” Let them know it’s okay to have mixed emotions and that you’ll be there to support them every step of the way.

Confidence doesn’t happen overnight—it’s built through practice, praise, and positive reinforcement. Celebrate even the smallest wins. Did your child pack their own backpack? Give them a high five. Did they say hello to a new peer? Let them know how proud you are. These moments matter.

Transition Tip: Teach your child a few simple self-advocacy phrases such as “I need a break,” “Can I have help?” or “I’m feeling overwhelmed.” Practice saying them at home so they feel comfortable using them at school.

Communicate Clearly with the School And Have Legal Protections in Place

While emotional readiness is key, so is ensuring your child has the legal protections and educational support they need. That begins with strong communication, and it should be paired with thoughtful legal planning that accounts for your child’s long-term needs.

If your child has an Individualized Education Program (IEP) or a 504 Plan, review it before the school year starts. Are the accommodations still appropriate? Are there new goals or concerns you need to address? Request a meeting with the school team if needed. These plans are only effective when they reflect your child’s current needs.

It’s also critical to build relationships with your child’s teachers, aides, and school administrators. Share insights that go beyond the IEP—what helps your child stay calm, what triggers frustration, how they best learn or communicate. When you show up as an active collaborator, it sets the tone for a productive year.

But don’t stop there. There are broader legal and planning questions that every parent of a child with special needs should consider. For example:

• Have you legally named guardians who could step in immediately if something happened to you, especially in an emergency?
• Do you have a Special Needs Trust to protect your child’s eligibility for public benefits like SSI or Medicaid?
• Have you documented your wishes in a way that provides not just instructions, but true guidance to your child’s future caregivers?

But it’s not just about filling out forms or signing documents—it’s about creating a plan that works when your loved ones need it most. 

The Peace That Comes From Life & Legacy Planning

Traditional estate planning is document-based, meaning you receive a set of documents and then put them away, thinking you’re done. You never hear from your lawyer again, because they haven’t kept in touch to make sure your plan stays up to date and changes with your life. What often happens is that the documents fail because they no longer apply to your current situation when you need them. You don’t have a trusted lawyer who has your back to make sure your plan stays updated. And even more importantly, your loved ones have no one to turn to when they need guidance and support the most.  When your plan fails and your loved ones don’t have the support of someone who knows you and cares about you and your family, the failure can cause instability for your child, unnecessary expense, conflict and even irretrievably broken relationships among the people you care about the most. 

We see documents-only plans fail families too often, which is why our planning isn’t focused on the documents themselves, but rather, on the people and relationships affected. This is called Life & Legacy Planning. When you work with us, you don’t just walk away with a binder of paperwork. You gain the peace of mind that comes from having a clear, legally-sound roadmap for your family, backed by an ongoing relationship with a lawyer who knows you, your child, and your wishes.

That means we’ll be there to help you make updates as your child grows and as laws and benefits change. We’ll be available to help you adjust your plan when new diagnoses emerge, new schools or services are introduced, or your family dynamics shift. Most importantly, when you are no longer here, your loved ones—your child’s guardians, caregivers, and extended family—won’t be left to figure things out on their own. They’ll have us to guide them through the legal and practical steps, to answer their questions, and to ensure your wishes are carried out exactly as intended.

Your Life & Legacy Plan also includes tangible tools like a comprehensive asset inventory, guidance for funding a Special Needs Trust, instructions for accessing important documents and accounts, and the support your family needs to avoid court, confusion, and conflict. It’s not just about your child’s protection today—it’s about ensuring they’re supported for a lifetime, by a plan that adapts with them and a lawyer who’s by their side every step of the way.

Transition Tip: If your child is 17 or approaching 18, it’s especially important to begin planning for the transition to adulthood. This may include supported decision-making, guardianship, or conservatorship, depending on your child’s abilities and needs.

Let’s Make This Year a Confident Start

Your child’s first day of school should be a moment of pride—not fear. With the right support systems in place, you can turn the beginning of the school year into a launchpad for success, self-confidence, and growth. That starts with preparation, continues with advocacy, and is anchored in a solid legal foundation that protects your child no matter what the future holds.

As a Personal Family Lawyer® with a special needs planning focus, we help you create a Life & Legacy Plan that truly works when your family needs it most, including preparing for both the everyday transitions and the major life events. If you don’t yet have a Life & Legacy Plan—or if it’s been a while since your plan was reviewed—let’s talk. Together, we’ll ensure your child has everything they need to feel safe, supported, and valued as they embark on this next chapter.