Your mom told you not to worry; she  had everything handled. You were her power of attorney, helping her pay bills and manage her accounts. When she passed away, you assumed you'd simply continue handling things the same way you had been.

Then you tried to deposit the insurance check. The bank clerk looked at the check, looked at your power of attorney paperwork, and shook her head. "I'm sorry, but we can't accept this. You'll need to go through the probate court first."

Suddenly, you're facing a legal process you know nothing about, at a time when you can barely function through your grief. The mortgage payment is due. Bills are piling up. And everything you thought was handled has turned into a complicated mess.

Understanding why this happens starts with knowing what shifts the moment someone dies.

Authority Disappears

Most people don't realize that any legal authority created through a Power of Attorney they may hold during a parent's lifetime vanishes the instant that parent dies. The documents that allowed you to help manage accounts, make financial decisions, and handle day-to-day business become meaningless pieces of paper.

This catches families off guard because it seems illogical. You were trusted to handle these matters yesterday. Why can't you handle them today? The answer lies in how the law views death. When someone dies, their legal identity changes. Assets that belonged to a living person now belong to an estate, which is a separate legal entity that must be properly administered through the court system.

Without the right planning in place beforehand, no one has automatic authority to manage estate assets. Not the closest family member. Not the person who had been helping with finances. Not even someone named in documents that worked perfectly well during the person's lifetime.

This sudden loss of authority creates immediate practical problems that catch loved ones completely unprepared.

Accounts are Frozen

Financial institutions have strict rules about who can access accounts after someone dies. They're legally required to protect assets until someone proves they have proper authority to manage them. This means accounts get frozen, checks get issued to estates rather than individuals, and transactions come to a halt.

For loved ones, this creates immediate practical problems. How do you pay for the funeral when you can't access accounts? What happens to the mortgage payment that's due next week? How do you handle utility bills, insurance premiums, or other ongoing expenses? Are you able to pay for all these expenses out of pocket? Many people can’t, especially if they have their own mortgage, utilities, health insurance premiums, college tuition, and so on.

The frustration compounds when you know the money exists. You can see the account balance. You know there are sufficient funds. But you can't touch any of it without going through a formal legal process first. 

Unfortunately, getting access to those frozen assets requires navigating a complex legal system.

The Court Process No One Wants

When proper planning hasn't been done, loved ones must petition the court for authority to handle estate matters. This involves filing paperwork, paying fees, attending hearings, and waiting for the court to issue documents that grant legal authority. 

The timeline varies, but generally speaking, families should expect this process to take months, not weeks. During that time, you're juggling your own life responsibilities while also navigating an unfamiliar legal system. You're taking time off work for court appearances. You're gathering documentation. You're waiting for approval on decisions that need to be made quickly. You’re also waiting for family members to sign legal paperwork and mail it to you. 

The costs add up, too. Court filing fees are just the beginning. Many families need legal help to navigate the process correctly, which means attorney fees. There may be accounting requirements. And all of these expenses come out of the estate before anything can be distributed to loved ones.

The court process is also set up for conflict, causing further delays. Heirs must receive notice of court filings, and they are able to file claims against the estate, challenge the proceedings, or dispute the amounts they may inherit. This conflict not only takes time for the court to reach any meaningful resolution, but it can also create breaks in familial relationships that never mend.

And while you're dealing with court procedures and paperwork, the law is making decisions about your family's future.

When the Law Decides for You

Without a will or a trust stating otherwise, state law determines who inherits what. These laws follow a rigid formula based on family relationships. For straightforward family situations, the outcome might align with what the deceased person would have wanted anyway. But the process still takes time and money.

The real problems emerge in complex family situations. Blended families. Unmarried couples. Estranged relatives. Family members with special circumstances. When state law makes these decisions, the results may not reflect what the deceased person actually wanted or what makes sense for their loved ones.

You also lose control over the details that matter. Who gets the family heirlooms? How should sentimental items be distributed? What happens to the family home? Without instructions, these decisions either get made by the court or lead to family conflict as survivors try to figure out what's fair.

Beyond the legal and financial complications, there's a hidden cost that families feel most deeply.

The Emotional Cost That Numbers Can't Capture

Beyond the time and money, there's an emotional burden that's hard to quantify. You're grieving while simultaneously dealing with bureaucracy. You're making dozens of phone calls, filling out forms, and attending court hearings when you'd rather be with family and friends who are also mourning.

Family relationships can suffer too. Even in close families, the stress of managing estate matters without clear guidance can create tension. Siblings may disagree about decisions. Questions arise about whether things are being handled fairly. Old resentments can resurface when people are already emotionally vulnerable.

And through it all, you're left wondering why this had to be so hard. Your parent didn't intend to create this burden. They simply didn't realize that planning was important - or that the planning they did wasn't complete.

The good news is that none of this has to happen to you or your loved ones.

A Different Path Exists

This entire situation is avoidable. With proper planning and a trusted advisor, families can bypass court proceedings, access assets without delay, and focus on healing instead of paperwork.

The difference comes down to creating a comprehensive plan that works after death, not just during life. This means thinking through who will have authority to manage affairs, how assets should be transferred, and what instructions family members will need when the time comes. It means creating a plan that documents your wishes and will work when you and your loved ones need it to.

It also means having professional support available to guide your family through the process. When you work with someone who knows you and understands your decisions, your family has a trusted advisor to turn to for help, not just a stack of documents they're trying to interpret on their own.

Finally, the time to act is now, while you can make clear decisions and put proper protections in place. Your loved ones deserve better than being left to navigate a complex legal system during one of the hardest times of their lives.