Supporting Your LGBTQ+ Grandchild: Steps to Show Love and Acceptance

Q: I just found out that my granddaughter is homosexual. I’m crushed. What should I do?

-- Anguished Grandparent

A: Dear Anguished,

Discovering that a loved one is navigating a part of their identity that they’ve kept private can be emotional and challenging to process. The good news is that societal progress has made it easier for many LGBTQ+ individuals to live openly and proudly. This shift toward greater acceptance can serve as a source of reassurance for you as you process this news.

It’s understandable to feel a range of emotions, including surprise or uncertainty. These feelings may be influenced by the norms and values of the past. However, societal changes have shown us that love and acceptance are far more important than old judgments. Even Pope Francis has advocated for compassion and inclusion in matters of sexuality, a perspective that reflects a growing focus on understanding and connection.

Your granddaughter likely faced significant fear and vulnerability in sharing this part of herself with you. Acknowledge the courage it took for her to speak her truth and recognize that what she needs most now is your continued love and support. Regardless of how she presents herself outwardly, she is seeking reassurance that her relationship with you hasn’t changed.

The most important step is to approach this with an open heart. Even if your initial reaction stems from the values of a different time, take the opportunity to reflect and learn. Talking to a trusted professional or a supportive clergy member can help you navigate these feelings and respond with compassion. Showing judgment, even unintentionally, could create lasting harm to your relationship.

Your granddaughter is still the same person you’ve always loved. Focus on what hasn’t changed: your care, connection, and desire for her happiness. By demonstrating acceptance, you will affirm her value in your life and help foster a deeper bond moving forward.

As you consider your family’s future, this can also be an opportunity to think about how you want to provide for your loved ones. A Personal Family Lawyer® can help ensure your granddaughter—and all those you care about—are protected when you’re no longer able to be there for them. Whether through estate planning, wills, or other arrangements, we’ll work with you to create a plan that reflects the love and support you want to leave behin