Wealth Secrets Online Magazine

Wealth Secret: Release the Drama

We’ve become so conditioned by reality TV that these days it’s difficult to recognize when we are getting sucked in by drama.  And yet the insidious nature of drama can very easily take us off our life course and stick us in a pattern of reactivity that doesn’t serve us or anyone else.

The challenge is that our own reactions that cause the drama in the first place are so unconscious and habitual that we can’t see what’s happening even when it’s pointed out to us.

Here’s the good news.  If you can learn to become aware of the areas where you’ve instigated drama (especially where you believe someone else was the instigator) or simply reacted to drama happening around you—and make a conscious choice not to do that anymore—you will increase your financial, emotional and spiritual wealth in ways you’ve never thought possible.

A recent example from my own life.

Last week, a friend’s son, Reese, was playing at my neighbor’s house and one of the girls who live there excluded him.  It’s possible it wasn’t one of the girls at all, but one of their friends.  Nevertheless, someone excluded him.

He was really upset and on the verge of tears when he came to let me know what had happened.

My first inclination (reaction) was to sympathize (commiserate) with Reese and march across the street and gave that little girl a talkin’ to.   (In fact, that’s exactly what his mom did a little bit later – more about that in a minute).

Instead, I made a conscious decision to stop and think about what I really wanted to accomplish.  And, I can assure you, it was quite difficult not to just react.  But, I took a minute, thought and recognized that if I made a big deal about it and acted if there was something wrong, Reese would think there was something wrong, and my guess is, he’d blame himself.

Instead, I thought about times this Reese “excluded” Kaia.  He had a friend around that he wanted to play with and he didn’t want to play with her.  I asked him to think about those times and what he was thinking and feeling when that was happening.

He thought about it and said that it just meant he wanted to play with his friend without Kaia.  I asked if that meant he didn’t like Kaia or never want to be around her again—and he said “of course not, I just want to play alone with my other friend sometimes.”   I went on to ask him, “So what do you think Kaia should do when you don’t feel like playing with her?” to which he responded, “Well she should just go play something else”.

Instantly, the light bulb went on and he realized that was exactly what he should do in this situation.  Drama defused.

That is until this Reese’s mom came home, heard what happened, didn’t pause to think and marched right over to the neighbors house to let them know that their daughter was excluding her son.   Later she found out it wasn’t the little girl that excluded him after all and she got chewed out by the girl’s father when she went back to apologize.

So now this mom has drama in the neighborhood, which could have been avoided if she’d taken a step back and processed the situation internally, recognized that it wasn’t a big deal at all and moved on with her life.

Frequently, instead of dealing with our own pain internally, we unconsciously (or consciously) think it’s a good idea to reach out, react or spout off and we’re forced to live out the negative consequences of those actions.

So let’s learn from this scenario and from now on strive to only speak of those things which bring joy, happiness, love or peace to the world.   If you have a strong desire to reach out and tell someone about how they’ve harmed you, first seek to resolve that hurt internally and see if perhaps the desire to reach out dissipates.

In each moment we need to look at our own responsibility and consciously determine whether to react or not react.  If we can practice non-reaction, which means you will process your hurts and pain inside first, your wealth will increase by leaps and bounds.

But if you choose the drama, you will lose every time— financially, emotionally and spiritually.