The hardest decisions
March 1, 2007 – 9:00 pmThe deposit was due yesterday for me to lock-in Kaia’s re-enrollment at Chadwick next year and I wrote the VERY BIG check even though I’m not certain it was the best idea.
Chadwick is an amazing school and it’s VERY academic; more so than I think I understood when we applied.
On the tour, I got the picture of a place where individuality is respected and even encouraged.
That appealed to me because one of the things I value most about myself is my refusal to do what everyone else is doing.
Truthfully, I’m a rule-breaker. Always have been. And now, I’ve channeled that rule-breaking into creative outlets that are making the world a better place. But then? Well, let’s just say, it wasn’t as positive …
I’ll tell you one small part so you can get an idea of how my rule-breaking USED to look. In 7th grade, I got kicked out of a summer debate program because I was smoking cigarettes up on the roof of the community college where the program was held.
Yep, I was a handful for my parents.
In future newsletters, I’ll share with you some stories from when I was growing up that might give you insight into dealing with your own troubled teen.
Send me an email describing some of the problems you are dealing with and if I think my experience can help, I’ll share it in a future newsletter. Be sure to tell me if you want me to keep your name private and I will. Email me.
Troubled? Yes, I was.
Looking back, I think that some of that "troubled-ness" came because I WAS a rule-breaker and the public school system didn’t have the resources to deal with me in any way other than by shaming and punishing me.
I would have had a better experience if my parents, my school, whoever, would have found a way to help me channel my energy into something positive, like starting a business, or volunteering, or anything I could get passionate about.
I guess when it comes right down to it, that’s what I’m hoping for when I send Kaia back to Chadwick for another year and then another 11; I’m hoping that they will appreciate whoever she is, even if she’s not an academic, but instead an athlete, an artist, or even a rule-breaker.
As long as Kaia is appreciated for just who she is and not expected to squeeze into a box that could never contain her, I’ll keep paying the tuition because I don’t want her to replicate my experience.
While I turned out extremely happy and self-confident, I spent a lot of time condemning myself and feeling uncertain about my gifts because my individuality was not fully appreciated and cultivated when I was growing up. I’d do just about anything to spare Kaia that pain and ensure that her strengths are always celebrated and that she learns how to compensate for her deficiencies with a laugh and a smile.
Dedicated to Your Family’s Health, Wealth and Happiness,
~ Alexis
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