Fighting About Money?
November 17, 2008 – 7:58 am
Growing up, I think my parents fought a lot about money. I say “think” because I can’t really remember it as I’ve blocked a lot of it out. But, I have vague memories of it.
And, I’m sure after reading this my mom will call me up to verify my memory.
But, I do know they were not on the same page financially … at all. My dad was the kind of guy who thought of money as “easy come, easy go.” If he had it, he spent it. All of it. If he didn’t have it, that was okay too. But, he’d be cooking up some way to get some.
There were times when I was a kid that our electricity would get turned off because my dad didn’t (or couldn’t) pay the bill. We didn’t have health insurance. I remember my mom wanting to take me to the orthodontist, but not being able to because we owed so much money on our account.
My mom came from a well off family who had been financially stable. Not paying bills and going bare on the health insurance were not part of her programming.
So yeah, I’m sure they fought about money.
Tonight, I was reading my kids a book before bed and the main character was lamenting his parents fighting over money all the time and it brought back some memories for me.
Are you fighting over money with your spouse? It’s one of the leading causes of family dysfunction so I wouldn’t be surprised if you are.
But what you might be surprised to hear is that your fighting is actually costing your family money. And if it’s not now, it will in the future.
Here you are, arguing over money when you could be taking that same energy and using it to create more money for your family.
Imagine that for a minute. Add up all the minutes, hours and days you worry about money, fight about money and then worry some more.
What if you took that same energy and directed it into a creative endeavor that would bring more money into your family?
What if you could create something that would put an additional $5,000 in your family’s bank account in the next 60 days? Would that change things for your family? What about an additional $10,000? Or more?
Guess what? You can do that. But, you need to stop fighting about money and redirect your energy to something within your control, like making more.
4 Responses to “Fighting About Money?”
These are great points Alexis. I never considered the wasted energy and time spent arguing that could be spent earning. I will add the other side of the equation that leads to money arguments–spending more than you earn. I have found that the more money people earn the more they spend; and it is always just a little more spending than earning that causes the problems.
I love the book “Your Money or Your Life.” It really helps puts the value of your time into perspective of money.
By Chuck J. Rylant on Nov 17, 2008
Sometimes when people take adequate precaution to clear up any fighting about money it still happens. A notable instance that I can think of would be with Anna Nicole Smith and her billionaire husband who died with well executed estate planning documents omitting her from his will. Even though she was knowingly left out she forum shopped and shamelessly fabricated some outrageous sob story to try and gain a piece of the Marshall fortune. Just like your mother wasn’t “programmed” to live light and without insurance, some gold diggers like Anna Nicole are programmed to do anything but work for their money. Your advice about foregoing the fights and focusing on what the family can do to improve financial stability is well thought out, but there are still some people who are simply too impatient and want it all even if they are not rightly entitled.
By belicoso on Nov 17, 2008
It kills me every time I hear of a couple getting a divorce or splitting up because of money issues. Money is never a sufficient reason to leave those you love. I don’t care how bad it gets. To fight over money will just cause more negativity towards money and thus a bad relationship with it. If someone had negative feeling towards you, you wouldn’t stick around. The same goes for money.
Great post! Thanks
By David Allred on Nov 23, 2008